As many of our Twitter followers may already know, Jenny and I have been embarking on a 21-day Whole Detox with @DrDeannaMinich. I had never done a detox of any kind before so as this was a first for me; I was very much a skeptic! But we are trying to stretch ourselves in new, inventive, and sometimes painful ways as part of our reflection journey, so a detox sounded just about as painful as I was willing to venture! The reason that I was drawn to this detox over the myriad of others out there is, if I'm completely honest, solely because this one seemed to have the most food on offer! As shameless as that is to admit, I'm not the kind of gal that's going to last 21 days on air entrees and good vibrations!! I. LOVE. GOOD. FOOD. I love everything about the cooking and eating process. Shopping, slicing, sautéing, and savoring. I love the creatively controlled process where you can follow the same steps each and every time but arrive still at a different culinary destination. But I digress....clearly, I could write a blog or two or twenty thousand on my love of cooking and eating, and that will surely come, but for now, you get the gist. I love food. Detox equals terrifying.
The Whole Detox looked like genuinely good food, and most importantly, a decent amount of it. The focus was not on weight loss, but on feeling more whole and in balance and focus as a person. The other intriguing component to the Whole Detox that set it apart from the rest was that it was paired with a color spectrum that signifies different components of a life structure. We were sold, signed up, and away we went.
The Detox starts with Red, the ROOT system, and looks at community, ancestry, family, etc., and moves next to the Orange FLOW system that looks at emotions, followed by the Yellow FIRE system that looks at issues of stress / burnout and work / life balance, and so on and so forth... I am enjoying this holistic approach to detoxing where body and mind work in tandem to explore food, nutrition, well-being, and positive reflection through the use of daily tools such as meditation, visualization, journaling, and emotion logging. I am happy to report that I just finished day 11 of 21 and so far, mostly so good. I'll share more about the food components of the detox is an upcoming blog, but for now, I wanted to focus on my key takeaway from the Green system, that of LOVE.
Today, we are to focus our attention for the day around love. Simple enough. In so doing, however, I had a bit of a revelation... I am a happily engaged 30 something woman who loves being in love. My fiancé, Henrik, and I have built up little routines, as all couples do, around love. Each day, he gives me a hug first thing in the morning when we wake up; we always make sure to say "I love you" before he leaves for work; we always greet each other in the evenings with a kiss..., etc., etc. One additional thing that's become routine over the years is for me to ask him in a very tongue and cheek manner, "how much do you love me today?" To which he routinely either ignores the question or answers while only half paying attention "all the love in the whole world" as he reaches vaguely past me for the remote control!!!
Today, however, I was thinking about love and our detox learnings, and as I was just about to ask my flippant and random question, I stopped and thought about it for a moment. I decided to change it up. I instead asked, "how much do I love you?" A very small and subtle change, but it changed the whole meaning of the question. Instead of asking for love and energy from him, I was offering for him to take love and energy from me. Instead of asking for reassurance, I was providing it. And what's more, his response solidified my thinking. He stopped abruptly. Normally, he would have been entirely unfazed, answered and that would be that. This time, however, he stopped. Paused. Thought for a moment and said "well, actually I have never thought about that. You have never told me. I know you love me of course, but I don't know how much! I hope it's a lot!!!" Isn't that interesting? All the times I'd asked the question the initial way, and I'd never thought to give back all the love in the whole world whenever I had gotten it from him...
The Whole Detox has taught me many great things along the way, but this one will stick with me. We all can and should show love in a variety of ways - but always remember, with love, it truly is always better to give than to receive!!